23 February 2009

Tell me what to do

Sometimes I think about how easier my life would be if God told me what He wants me to do. I have no idea what to do with my life and He does...plus, I know that whatever He has for me is a million times better than what I plan for myself. But how great would it be if, considering all these factors, God just told me what to do during those times when I am just so confused and anxious.

Is it simply a matter of getting to know Him better? I know it is. The better I know His character, the more I will understand His actions and His will for my life.

But how awesome would it be if, for once, I wasn't so confused? Wouldn't it be nice if He could just tell me what to do? I think it would.

21 February 2009


Oh great wall of gum, where did you come from and who had the ingenious idea to create you, piece-by-piece? I stand in awe of your disgusting beauty. I will offer what paltry, sugar-free reward I can and as I stick this gum to a place on the wall that only I will remember, I am careful not to disturb the offerings of those who have come before me.

18 February 2009


This lovely little French film just makes me so incredibly joyful! The story of a young girl who is painfully shy and socially awkward, but whose life changes after she returns a small box of childhood mementos to an old man and then decides to spend time making others smile. It definitely makes me smile and oddly enough, restores my faith in the compassion and grace that can be found in humanity. Not only do I identify with a girl who finds comfort and peace in solitude, yet longs for community and love from other human beings, I love the films way of looking for details. In my own life, I feel as though I have always looked for the tiny, seemingly insignificant details that truly create a human being. Those small intricacies and the things we do when we think no one is looking are what ultimately shape our character and experiences. The way this film searches for and explores those intimate details encourages my own love of them. Just such a wonderfully intricate and pure look at the goodness that lies within humanity.

"Amelie has a strange feeling of absolute harmony. It's a perfect moment. A soft light, a scent in the air, the quiet murmur of the city. A surge of love, an urge to help mankind overcomes her."

17 February 2009

Echoes - Roy Conant

What I said
In ways
I did not say

My words
Return in fractals
I do not comprehend
Less than ever said
But more than I

Words live
In the ether.
Spirit voices
Once raised
Weave rounds,
Viral wreaths and
Endless fugues of
Arial arrays

The life of the word
Is unbroken
The speaker hears
Only a token
Of what anyone
Has ever

13 February 2009

21 things to do before I turn 22

In my obsession with making lists and my desire to make my last few months in Portland worthwhile...here it is.

1. Spend an uninterrupted afternoon at the Japanese Gardens (done)
2. Splash around at the Keller Fountain Park like I did when I was 6 and did not care what people thought about me
3. Find solitude, peace and sanctuary with “Our Sorrowful Mother” at the Grotto (done)
4. Get some inspiration at the Portland Art Museum (done)
5. Have a beer at every McMenamins in Portland (done...sort of)
6. Road trip to Seaside and go swinging on the ocean (done)
7. Learn how to see (still learning)
8. Have a picnic at the top of Mt. Tabor (done)
9. Read three books that I choose…just for myself. (done)
10. Happy hour at the tallest building in Portland (done)
11. Ride on a train (done)
12. Walk across the St. John’s bridge
13. Find a field of Tulips in which I can wander aimlessly (done...with a few adjustments)
14. Visit what I hear is the coolest library this side of the Mississippi (done)
15. Find a certain childhood book that my mother lost in the fire…give it to her and revel in her joy (done)
16. Move into a new house and cultivate a few new memories there (done)
17. Find the great wall of gum at the Pike Place Market (done)
18. Take more pictures...and share them (done)
19. Try the empanadas and sugar cane lemonade at perhaps the most colorful restaurant I have ever seen (done)
20. Dance away my troubles along with my favorite band of mischievous musicians (done)
21. Let it go (still learning)

04 February 2009

Slumdog Millionaire

Holy freaking cow! I just saw this film about a young man who goes on Indian’s version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire and I wish I had an explanation for how completely magnificent it was. Beautifully made, devastating and hopeful at the same time, truth in every form. How can a movie about the life of one boy in India be so powerful? Because it is harsh and magnificent and lovely and brutal and pure and appalling and truthful. The camera angles portray a life of chaos, while not discounting the true possibility of destiny that the film thrives on. The actors strike a perfect balance between the characters' resignation with their current lives, while still striving to hold onto a strong sense of hope and trust in the beauty of their world. It is a commentary of the world we have allowed ourselves and others to live in. A world of disgusting and dangerous slums with the governance of an illegal mob as its only remedy. A world of parents lost to religious intolerance, brothers lost to corruption and greed, and true love lost to the perversion and disrespect of others. However, it also has one of the strongest messages of hope of any film I have seen. The man’s trust in the destiny of true love and in the compassion and good that can be found in others prevails over all of the horrific obstacles he must overcome. Like every other item on this list, the film inspires in me both questions and hope for the world God has placed me in. It is a definitive example of why I am such a strong advocate for human rights and social justice, but it is also a definitive example of why I have hope that things can change.