13 August 2011

24 before 25

here it is, friends. I am starting early (or on time?) this year so I really have no excuse not to get all of this done. no excuse at all.

1. make the the red velvet cake. made famous by this lovely one. (here.)

2. throw a party with a super epic theme. suggestions now welcome.

3. learn how to be content in my own skin. try to stop second-guessing myself.

4. learn italian. at least a little bit. (done. by necessity.)

5. create my perfect christmas playlist. (I was pretty excited about this one.)

6. travel somewhere I have never been. (done! most exceedingly done!)

7. become an expert polaroid shooter.

8. weekend trips on the train. (here. but more forthcoming.)

9. acquire a genuine record player. (huzzah! needle is fixed now too.)

10. go for more walks in search of swing sets.

11. celebrate the unexpected. remember to be grateful. (in progress.)

12. make more lists. as if that was a necessary item to add.

13. read more books by collum mccann.

14. write more short stories. share at least one with someone. try not to be embarrassed.

15. have a guerilla art adventure.

16. take a yoga class. remember to breathe.

17. talk to grandma nancy about her childhood. also her marinara sauce recipe. (must be moved to the next list.)

18. go to a drive-in movie. (but I did find out there is one in nashville. on the next list!)

19. understand the words "the joy of the Lord is my strength." get a firm grip on that concept. (here.)

20. read les misérables. the unabridged version.

21. rediscover my love for puzzles. yes, jigasw puzzles.

22. create a photo book. give said photo book to someone I love.

23. write a poem.

24. stretch more often. (thanks to that pesky physical therapist.)

11 August 2011

thoughts from :: home.

this is about recognizing the details in myself. the ones I forgot were there. it was nice to have them come back and greet me. nice to be reminded that they are there and surely they'll always be there. forever and ever amen.

what an odd feeling it was to return to a place that I love and slowly begin to have pieces of myself return from the places I have tucked them away. and to realize that the self I am in one place is totally different from the self I am in another. not any less real or less me. just different.

I did things I used to do all the time but never find time for now. I smiled at strangers and people-watched. and I'll tell you something, I don't think I saw one person rushing around in a suit. actually, not one person even wearing a suit. except when it was a hipster and they were wearing a crazy vest or bow-tie with it, of course. I took my earbuds out and listened to the sound of the world humming around me. it hummed with much less force than the car horns and idling buses and electronic buzz currently filling my mind and causing me to reach for those earbuds right now. I thought about something other than work and what I need to do tomorrow. I hugged the people I love with intention and I let them hug me as much as they wanted to. I actually might have overdone it a bit. if you can overdo something like hugs. which, luckily, I do not think is possible. my shoulders loosened. my jaw unclenched. my breath came back in deep, satisfying gulps.

let's just be clear here, people. I actually enjoy my life as it is right now. I have friends who are fun and real and teach me how to live fully. I am exploring a city and drinking lots of wine and eating lots of really good food with lots really great people. I am productive and I am growing and for the most part, I am myself. most of the time I am pretty content. and for the times that I'm not, the joy of the Lord is a wonderful thing I am learning.

but you never can beat the feeling of being home, right?

03 August 2011

not too often.

oh bon iver. how I wish I could live next door to you and hear you creating this music all the time. I would have to live in wisconsin. but I might be okay with that.

it's not too often that you experience something so full of beauty that you feel you might burst under the weight of it. not too often that, in a room with 1200 other people, you experience something that feels intensely intimate. not too often that a silly little piece of music somehow causes the sacred to crash into the secular, merging the two so you cannot begin to pull them apart to dissect how they might differ. not too often that you are smiling throughout an entire two-hour show. not too often that simple little chords and words and melodies make you giggle (yes, giggle) with unadulterated, innocent, pure joy. that is, right up until they bring tears of feeling understood and a little bit less alone in this crazy world. not too often that a concert makes you write posts on your blog that seem just a little bit over-dramatic and extreme and silly because you just can't seem to find the words to explain how completely amazing the experience was. not too often.